A Consent and Negotiation Talk


A talk by me about Consent and Negotiation, for you to show in class or in assembly.


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As we’re in Covid times and being a visiting speaker at schools is pretty tricky at the moment, I thought I’d record a consent and negotiation talk. I’m not really one for doing ‘talks’ but I thought this might be an easy way for you to introduce a topic with options for allowing for some discussion in class. Perhaps it would be a good starting off point for other activities you might want to deliver. As with all my resources this is for over 14s. So year 10 and up (it’s definitely suitable for adults too)

It’s about consent and negotiation and I cover the following topics.

  • An introduction where I talk about bishuk.com and show a page about sexual health services
  • That consent is about freedom and choices (not just saying, or waiting for, a yes or a no)
  • Consent is important in all aspects of our lives, not just sex
  • Self consent (how we might practice tuning into our own wants, needs, and desires by choosing a chocolate bar)
  • The importance of agency (understanding our own decision making power and why it’s important)
  • The impact of non-consensual behaviour on our own agency
  • How to choose with another person (how to choose a Netflix show to watch with someone)
  • What makes choosing with someone else tricky, but why it’s also fun
  • Navigating and negotiating physical interactions with someone (I do this by explaining the handshakes activity from the Consent Teaching Pack, rather than asking the students to do it which (I’m guessing) at most schools you can’t do at the moment
  • Sex and why we should treat it more like choosing something to watch on TV rather than a greeting
  • What makes this tricky (the subject matter and stigma for talking about what we want from sex)
  • Embracing awkwardness in sexual negotiations
  • Power imbalances and how this might have an impact

The video itself is around 36 minutes long, but I have discussion points on slides throughout. I give you a cue to pause the video to allow for students to discuss the points I’m making.  There are five moments where you can pause the video to talk about

  • How choosing a chocolate bar might be tricky
  • What happened last time you tried to watch TV with someone
  • How are you negotiating greetings now in Covid times
  • What makes negotiating sex tricky
  • Power imbalance scenarios

So you could do this in one double period lesson, or if you wanted to pad it out for a bit you could do it over a couple of lessons or even a week’s worth of tutor times. This would also work well with some of the activities I have in the Consent Teaching Pack. 

If this is popular I will make other talks!