Consent, Communication and Pleasure

A training course about how we can all learn about how vital consent is in SRE but that goes way beyond just ‘no means no and yes means yes.’

“If two people have sex and neither of them say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is it consensual?”

“Was it consensual?” “Yeah, it wasn’t rape.”

Covering consent in SRE is absolutely vital and, thankfully, it’s now high on many people’s agendas. However, we need to go much further than just teaching “No means no” and “Yes means yes”. Young people I work with know the definition of consent, but too often they have very little idea about what consent looks, feels and sounds like. Young people have usually not had a great deal of experience of this and they don’t have many opportunities to learn.

We have few sources for learning about how to have good consensual sex, apart from actually having sex. Porn might show that sex can be pleasurable but it doesn’t show the communication necessary for sex to be mutually pleasurable. Also sometimes ‘traditional’ sex education sends out very unhelpful messages in this area “it always hurts the first time.” “you need to find the right person and it’ll be fine,” “when you have sex, use contraception.”

This course brings together the work I’ve been doing over the last 15 years in classrooms, training rooms and in young people’s clinics. It includes interactive, experiential and fun activities which :

  • gives us the opportunity to practice and to understand how consent feels
  • helps us to unpack what we mean by ‘sex’ and that there are many options (including not being sexual)
  • how to communicate what we want
  • an understanding of the barriers to asking for what we want
  • exploring links between sex which is not pleasurable and unhealthy relationships
  • an understanding of the law and the limitations of this definition
  • how self-esteem may have an impact on our wants and needs

It will suit anyone working with young people and adults in sex and relationships education: teachers, youth workers, health advisers, outreach workers, support workers.

You can read more about my thoughts about consent in sex education at the Guardian. For more on consent for young people you can see my posts at BISHuk.

This one day course costs £1200 plus travel/accommodation costs. All my courses are for up to 16 participants.

If you wish to make a booking or have any questions about the content or fee please get in touch via the contact form.